August 2012
3 tags
I'D WALK THROUGH HELL FOR YOU
going to the game hella random tonight with a cousin of mine. i’m really excited because last time we saw each other i was belligerent and it was on the same day that theo went to the hospital and it was the day i got in a huge fight with my roommates and it was just all bad and he made one comment i didn’t like and i totally went off on him. so. here’s to good vibes. gotta hit a...
my parents are boarding theo. they can’t hang. my brother can’t take him, he’s got too many dogs and not enough space as it is. this whole situation sucks.
“The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved....”
– Ryan O’Connell
someday i’ll fall in love again. it’s hard to appreciate the beauty in life when you’re alone. but then again, maybe that’s the whole point. to learn to enjoy life by yourself. because at the end of the day, we all die alone.
July 2012
Tuesdays are the only days I can get on the computer. craigslist! e-mailed someone about a cool little loft. we’ll see. I need to find somewhere to shower tonight.
I need to stop crashing with penises. I never get any rest.
I came home too faded to do anything, so I passed out. then woke up in the middle of the night and continued to pack. getting my essentials packed up and I’m like, how am I gonna carry this shit?
I didn’t get the studio. shitty shit is shitty.
anxiety running strong.
I really don’t wanna do this. I’d rather be homeless than lose both my dogs. I fucking hate this city sometimes. maybe it’s a sign that I should pack up and go. maybe there’s nothing left for me here.
this is honestly the hardest thing ever. I got called back about the studio. dude told me two dogs is one too many. so I decided that marley is going to live with my parents. and theo will live with me. marley is my baby. I love her. but I know she’ll be fine with my folks. and I know theo needs me and he needs all the attention. choosing between two of your babies is the hardest. but I know...
applied for the studio. it’s pretty great. I really hope I get it. cross your fingers and toes for me.
princessratch3t asked: Hey, Xochi. Random question, but do you have trouble eating before smoking?
when people are like, ‘you’re at work? lame. why do you work so much?’ and i’m just like, please. and i walk away. hahaha.
I’M GOING TO LOOK AT THE STUDIO AFTER WORK :D
how am i just finding out/realizing saosin and circa survive have the same vocalist?
found this really awesome studio in the tenderloin. now i kinda hope i get it. i’m also listening to a modest mouse/explosions in the sky mix on pandora and it’s amazing.
“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see...”
– Mitch Albom
i really want to get my DSLR serviced soon. i want to get my lens fixed. i want to start taking photos again.
my mom and i are doing this whole last minute ‘let’s just fuck ourselves financially so you’re not homeless’ and we’re trying to get me a studio. the beef is, i dipped out on my lease on Laramar, the people who managed my first studio. so, i know that going through a company is gonna be kinda hard. but we’ll see.
I love Law Abiding Citizen.
theo left last night. I was indeed upset. but. thus is life. he’ll have a good time with my brother and his roommates and their dogs. and he’s going to learn a lot. I hope we can be together again soon. but I’m ready for my big homeless adventure. I’m not scared or upset. a little nervous. but. I know it’s all gonna be ok. because people have my back.
finding some mutual ‘i think you’re hot and I wanna fuck’ shouldn’t be this hard.
guys always act like girls they fuck with are trying to catch feelings. like, for real, why is hard to believe some girls just wanna cuddle and fuck and flirt and be cute but not actually be anything. I mean, as long as everything is clear from the beginning, it’s fine. niggas need to get off their own jock. no one is fucking falling in love here.
well. it looks like theo is staying with me. he’ll be living with my brother until I get settled. but yeah. just goes to show. what some people are willing to do to avoid responsibility. I’ll have to hire a dog walker, but I think I know a good one I can pay in weed, hahah.
